My Orange Dreams

Info Sessions

2010-02-02T12:01:53Z

December-January is the season of Information Sessions. After attending various Information Sessions, I once again find myself evaluating my options and calculating figures.

I'm hoping...
And I'm praying...

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T04:17:38Z

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas!

My Kuya Jovic

2009-12-24T09:10:03Z

Kuya Jovic

My eldest brother is currently working in the US. While he used to be assigned to various locations abroad, I think this is the first time that he's staying there for quite a long time. It's a bit weird not seeing him around our house. He used to often invite us to have lunch and dinner outings. I've actually been trying to compensate for his absence by inviting my parents to go out for dinner and watch movies, but alas, my purchasing capacity is not as high as my Kuya!

I've always been very proud of him. He's the quintessential Kuya in all aspects. He's responsible, intelligent and thoughtful. He really cares for our family. I often wonder what would happen had I been the eldest in our family. I don't think I would have the same patience and selflessness.

Ever since I was a little kid, I had always looked up to him. He's the brother who graduated at the top of his class and earned so many medals, who studied in UP, and who has traveled around. And due to my idolization, I consistently tried hard to follow him, hence, my desire to study in UP. I even applied to the same company where he is working during my senior year in college. Had I not gone to law school, I would probably have worked there. I had always followed his advice, from the choice of my college course to the decision to study law. I had never really considered becoming a lawyer until he suggested it.

And now that I am considering and planning for my future education, he has once again thrown his full support behind my plans. He's always been very supportive with everything. Maybe because he feels responsible for my restlessness. Whenever he initiates the discussion about my future plans, I feel overwhelmed because he is again going way beyond his natural responsibility towards his siblings.

My Kuya and I may have had our differences (a lot actually and most of them could be traced to our squabblings over my F4 fangirling). I sometimes joke that I used to be his favorite sister pre-F4 fangirl days :P But despite this, I know that the interests of our family remain his priority.

As we are about to celebrate our second Christmas without him, I just wanted to express my gratitude to my Kuya. Thank you for being the best Kuya that we could have. See you soon, Kuya Jovic! :D

ZaiZai and Xiao Zhu

2009-10-19T16:19:15Z

I knew there's a reason why I have always liked Xiao Zhu (Show Luo).

Xiao Zhu hugging Zai tightly after the announcement of the winner of the Best Actor Award.

谢谢你, 小豬!
Thank you, Xiao Zhu!

The Best Actor in my Heart

2009-10-16T18:41:12Z

ZaiZai, you're still the best actor in my heart. I know you don't need that kind of validation as long as you know that you did your best and you are proud of your work. But it still hurts. And I can't imagine how it must feel for you.

I know I haven't watched Black and White yet but I've heard nothing but praises for your performance, even from non-Zai fans. You have always given your 100% in all your works and it always shows in your level of performance. This is why I am and will always be proud being your fan. I'm proud of your work, your behavior and your work ethic.

It must have been a bittersweet victory for Director Cai. He won Best Director and Black and White won as the Best Drama. Unfortunately, the Best Actor award was given to the wrong Black and White actor. I have always thought that Zai is Leo DiCaprio to Director Cai's Martin Scorsese.

Later, Zai will have a fan meeting in Taipei. I want to hug and console him so much. I hope his fans would do their best to lift his spirits up. I haven't visited VIC for quite some time now. And when I read his previous messages, I knew that something is bothering him again. :(

I may no longer be one of his biggest fans. But I will always be his fan. And I'm damn proud being one.

ZaiZai, 加油!

ETA:
When Director Cai won, he gave special thanks to ZaiZai. And when Black and White won as Best Drama, the producer (Director Cai's wife) practically had to drag Zai on stage while the others willingly went to the stage. She then said, "ZaiZai, you're the best actor in my heart."

ETA:
Director Cai's wife's acceptance speech: "Thank you, Zhou Yu Min. You're forever the Best Male Lead in my heart."

At the Beginning

2009-10-08T17:16:01Z

I was browsing my video files in my computer. And I stumbled upon this video that I made last year:

At the Beginning

While watching it, I suddenly missed the simpler times. ZaiZai and F4 represented my law school days. The days when I knew that I was already an adult but because of my student life, I was granted a reprieve to repeat my college years. Hence, even if I was already in my early 20s, I still felt like a teenager.

Those were the days when all I worried about was my recitation and my exams and when my utmost concern involved asking money from my parents and brother to fund my fangirling expenses.

But those 4 years (plus 1 year for the bar experience) had passed. And along with it came the passing of innocent and free days.

In the midst of these confusing and anxiety-filled days, I now long for those days. When times were simpler. When my concerns were comparatively petty. But, like my ZaiZai and F4 obsession, I know that those days are now over. And yet I know that I still have so many things to look forward to. It's scary but it's about time. But it doesn't mean that I wouldn't have days like this. Days when I feel melancholy, when I feel the need to look back "at the beginning", before I can move on and look forward to another journey.

Baboo

2009-09-10T04:20:56Z

This is a belated welcome post to Baboo, my new iPhone! :D

Buying it was actually an impulsive decision. I was initially planning to buy a Nokia phone. But since I got my dad a new Globe plan, I realized that the price of the iPhone was in the same range of the Nokia phone that I was eyeing. So in a matter of seconds, I chose the iPhone. I wasn't even familiar with the specifications and the different models.

My major concern was the touchscreen pad (as it would be a difficult feat to drive while texting)! And the fact that it couldn't forward messages. But the Globe attendant told me that the newest model (3GS) can already forward messages and record videos. So I bought it. I didn't even read the reviews. ^_^

So far, I'm enjoying Baboo. Texting while driving is still difficult but I guess it's also a good thing :P I'm quite addicted to Sudoku. I surf the Internet while lying down on my bed. All in all, it was a good purchase.

PS,
Why Baboo? Watch this:

Yellow Army

2009-09-09T13:38:20Z

I haven't been blogging much the past few months. Blame it on work, on personal issues, or on my obsession with Twilight. But I know I can't give up my LJ. I always enjoy reading my past entries. However, there were past events that I wish I had documented but due to time constraints, I never got around to doing it. This time, I know I have to write this, as a reminder to my future self that I'm not as apathetic or indifferent as I may seem.

40 days. The end of the traditional mourning period.

When I found out that Cory Aquino had died on that rainy Saturday morning, I never thought that I would feel so affected. I was expecting the news for several days already but hearing the confirmation was still some kind of a shock for me. I guess I had always considered her as a constant presence in the media. Similar to the deaths of prominent personalities, I followed the TV programs and read the articles about her. The next few days, I saw yellow ribbons, yellow shirts and yellow banners.

While witnessing the outpouring of love for her, I myself had this sudden urge to express my gratitude to her. But the logistics were quite daunting. I felt too lazy to line up; I didn't know where to park; I was wary of the crowd, etc. However, at the back of my mind, I felt I was being urged to do something. So I tied a yellow ribbon in my car and I felt a sense of camaraderie with the other vehicles with yellow ribbons.

It appeared that a friend of mine (who also seems as apathetic or indifferent as I am and I must say who is more maarte than I am!) was feeling the same thing. We texted all throughout the said weekend about our thoughts and feelings. Initial plans to go to the wake were made, but I was still having second thoughts because I wasn't too confident driving in Manila and considering my parking skills, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to park.

Finally, on the day that we were planning to go, I suddenly decided to just forget my lingering concerns and go.

Upon arriving at the Manila Cathedral, I felt as if I was a part of something extraordinary. And it was true, because while I was too young to remember the EDSA revolution and even her presidency, I know that she was an extraordinary lady.

My friend and I walked for 30 minutes from the parking area to the end of the line, which appeared endless. The line just kept on snaking around the streets of Intramuros which prompted my friend to joke that we were on an Intramuros walking tour. Cheers would even erupt when the groups of people would reach the end of the line.

Then came the 4-hour wait in the muddy streets of Intramuros. I don't even remember how we passed the time. We never sat down as the roads were dirty and we never ate our take-out food. After 2 hours of standing, we began asking ourselves on why we were there. Back in law school, the two of us never really participated in any political issues. Her extent of political participation was attending the EDSA 2 revolution while mine was even more limited.

So there I was, an oxymoron. A UP alumna who has never attended a rally in her life (Yes, I wasn't at EDSA 2. I was more content watching TV at that time). A citizen who has strong opinions about her country but has little initiative to do something about it.

And yet, there I was, standing in the intermittent rain. Making a statement and supporting a stand (while holding on to my yellow umbrella).

We finally entered the Manila Cathedral at around 2:30am. It was very solemn despite the continuous trickle of mourners. I paid my respects, thanked her for her sacrifices and most of all, for her faith, and prayed for her and her family.

Manila Cathedral - pictures taken by my friend

The next few days, I was still in Cory overload. My life literally stopped on August 5, 2009. I watched the full coverage of her funeral. My sister and I went outside our subdivision to see the funeral cortege pass through the SLEX. I haven’t even removed the yellow ribbon in my car.

What drew me, along with countless other Filipinos, to her? Her presidency did not achieve “economic” success using the usual standards of an economist. She went against the stand of an economic professor in my school. But she remained well-loved and an influential person. For me, it has always been about her morals and her values.

I may be a lot of things but I have always tried to act according to my morals. And in the midst of a moral dilemma that our country is facing (led by an “immoral” chief executive), she is an epitome of a moral person.

That is a big lesson for me and for us, which is very apt considering the announcement of her son, Noynoy, that he would run for the presidency. Our brain is nothing without our heart. Intelligence is nothing without morals.

Rest in peace, Tita Cory. May we continue your moral legacy.

Sleepless Nights

2009-07-09T09:46:37Z

Work

I've been terribly busy the past 3 weeks. The amount of work load has been terrible. Deadlines of various projects just kept on piling up. Just when I thought that I have finally finished a report comes another urgent report. Hence, the sleepless nights. I would even ask pinkrabbit17 to help me in some of my reports (but I had to bribe her with Yellow Cab pizza!) It almost became a habit for us to order Yellow Cab at 1-2am every time I have to stay up all night.

Michael Jackson

Which leads me to MJ's memorial. I had to finish another urgent report last Tuesday night. That's why I was able to watch the entire memorial service from 1:30-4:00am. I was holding my breath at the last part when MJ's brother was adjusting the mic stand and I was anticipating that his daughter would say something. While the rest of the memorial was very touching, from Brooke Shields' eulogy to Jermaine's rendition of Smile, it was only at that moment that I really glimpsed a view of MJ's human persona, in the eyes of his children.

Rest in peace, MJ.

9 June 2009

2009-06-09T16:12:33Z

9th of June

This is the 6th year that we are celebrating his birthday. From extravagant and elaborate birthday celebrations to charity events and to simple dinner with friends. A lot has indeed changed and yet so many things remain constant. From laughter shared over the dinner table, to birthday greetings in the form of text messages, forum posts, facebook status and simple birthday songs, and most of all, to friendships that have been gained and will always treasure.

Hence, even if I (and most of us) have already graduated from the craziness of the fandom, he will always remain a constant presence in my life. And for this, thank you, ZaiZai.

Happy birthday! ♥

ETA: I miscalculated the number of years that we have been celebrating his birthday. It should be 6 years, hehe. :P

New Moon Madness

2009-06-01T16:38:25Z

The past two weeks had been awesome for Rob/Kristen/Twilight fans, especially for Rob fans! :D

First stop was the Cannes Film Festival, where Rob (1) promoted New Moon and his yet-to-be-filmed movie, Remember Me, (2) auctioned off kisses worth 20,000 euros each (!), and (3) attended the premiere of Inglorious Basterds. Whew, he had a very busy week!

Second stop was Montepulciano, Italy, where they shot the Volterra scenes.

These pictures killed me. Edward and Bella is ♥♥♥. I know that I will be crying buckets when this scene plays in the theaters.

The reunion scene *almost* makes up for Edward's absence in the middle part of the book/movie.

Don't mind the dots covering Rob's face and body. They're for the sparkly CGI effects. :P

Third stop was the 2009 MTV Movie Awards. My life literally stopped for this show. Rob was just too adorable in his acceptance speeches (bringing out a list that includes his fans, Summit, Catherine, Stephenie and the cast/crew, thanking his body double, acting out with Kristen for the Best Kiss). I just love lanky, adorkable and witty guys like Rob.

This is really ♥♥♥.

Fangirling Time

2009-05-19T16:48:10Z

New Moon

As I was driving to the office this morning, zzis Annie texted me that the official poster for New Moon had been leaked! I immediately hurried and checked the Internet upon arriving in the office.

I have lots of complaints about this poster (the major one involves the j/b touching, which is just so wrong on all sorts of aspects). But I could forgive that because Edward is right in front of the poster :P I honestly don't care about those commenters who think that Edward should be relegated in the background in New Moon because of his absence for most part of the book. New Moon, despite Edward's absence, is still all about Bella and Edward.

Rob at Cannes

He looks really good! I don't think I've ever seen him wearing just a nice polo shirt.

Movies

I watched Wolverine last Saturday with some of my officemates after the MCLE seminar (the majority part of which I spent solving Sudoku puzzles!). I enjoyed the movie and now I want to watch the leaked unedited version just for the lolz.

I also watched Angels & Demons awhile ago with the GGs (aka, Zzistahs plus Sil and Aira). As a testament of my being "lutang" every morning, I mistakenly read Annie's reminder-text that we will watch the movie at Greenbelt (instead of Glorietta)! So there I was, about to buy my food at Greenbelt, when I called Annie and realized that they were at Glorietta and the movie was about to start in 15 minutes! It was a good thing that the traffic wasn't too heavy and I arrived just after the opening credits. Lesson learned: always re-read text messages that I receive in the morning!

Hodgepodge

2009-05-12T16:28:57Z

Happy Birthday, Rob!

Here's to more witty and giggly RPatzz anecdotes. :)

I hope that his stardom would not disillusion him and he would remain humble and real (to himself and to the industry).

***
I've been diligently following the updates on the New Moon shooting and the "behind-the-scenes" outings of the cast, specifically Rob and Kris. My shipper heart reached atmospheric highs from numerous pictures of them together but it also reached its deepest lows :P Now I'm just trying to enjoy the pictures of them together. As long as Rob is happy, I am happy, too. :)

***
More than 3 weeks after my unfortunate visit to the surgeon, my right foot is now completely healed. I never thought I would say this but I actually missed my high-heeled shoes :P It's weird because I always look at the shoes of my colleagues and clients and the higher the heels, the more professional they look to me. I know there's really no correlation but I still can't help but admire those who wear nice shoes.

***
Last Saturday, I attended the Mandatory Continuing Legal Education seminar, which the Supreme Court requires for all lawyers. It was torture. Lectures from 8am-6:15pm. Some of the topics were actually interesting but my brain refused to cooperate and listen as it knew that it was a Saturday, a day that was supposedly dedicated for my personal time (a.k.a., sleeping time, eating time, Internet time, etc.). Now I'm dreading the next 3 Saturdays...

***
My disposition is picking up these days. I still feel melancholy at times but things really have a way of looking up. The fact that I have finally decided on a path for me after months of dilly-dallying was a very welcome change. Now I'm only hoping that I may have sufficient time and dedication to pursue this change. Jia you to me! :)

Struck by Murphy's Law

2009-04-24T11:03:12Z

This week has not been a good week for me.

1. I underwent surgery in my right foot. While it was just a minor surgery to remove the infected wound, the required twice-a-day cleansing and replacing the bandages are too painful and troublesome. I've always been extra careful with my feet after my "removing-the-toenail" incident a few years ago, but this shows that you still cannot be too careful.

My new best friend:

We searched high and low in different drugstores for this type of non-stick pad (as I do not want to encounter ever again the feeling of removing a bandage which is stuck on a fresh wound). They were out-of-stock in all Mercury drugstores and I was seriously considering ordering from the US (the pads cost merely $5 each, but the express shipping fee would amount to $100!). Fortunately, we were able to buy the pads at South Star Drugstore.

2. I have food allergies and I still don't know the specific irritant. For about a week, the insides of my cheek were too sore and red and I had puffy lips akin to Angelina Jolie.

3. I have contact dermatitis. My right wrist is red and very, very itchy. Just looking at it makes me feel itchy. During meetings, I even cover them with a bandage or with my blazer as I do not want to gross out our clients.

With all these medical emergencies, I've been to the clinic for 4 days in a span of 1 week and I've consulted 4 doctors and numerous nurses. *sighs*

4. And just when I thought Murphy's Law had already expired, my laptop's hard drive crashed. When did I last back-up my files? November 2008. When our one-man-IT-personnel informed me that he couldn't access my hard drive, I just stared at him. He was probably waiting for an outburst but I was just too shocked and numb to realize that this is actually happening to me. And just a few hours ago, the said one-man-IT-personnel told me that he couldn't access my Outlook back-up files.

I already sent my hard drive to the supposed "gods" of HDD recovery (which would cost me an arm and a leg) yesterday. And now, I ask anyone who is reading this entry to please pray for my hard drive, that I may recover my very important files (work and personal files). *sobs*

I know that I can't break down because what good it would do. I still have tons of work and personal issues to sort out. I just wish that the coming weekend and the next week would bring good news to me.

Déjà Vu

2009-04-02T02:14:02Z

The 2008 bar exam results will soon be released. I can already feel the anxiety and nervousness of the underbars in our office. I can totally relate to what they are feeling.

It’s only been a year since that fateful day when I received the news that I passed the bar. A year makes so much difference. I can remember the fervent prayers and bargainings, the diligent pilgrimages to far-flung churches and the heartfelt conversations among fellow barristers.

Realistically speaking, I should have not expected to pass. I found the questions very difficult and tricky. I know I missed a lot of important concepts and even simple ones. But I guess my mind and emotions were equipped with strong defense mechanisms that I blocked out the possibility of failing. During the 6-month wait, while I was feeling nervous and anxious, I never allowed myself to think of failing and having to retake the exams. It was just too heartbreaking and painful for me to consider. And that probably allowed me to have fewer panic attacks.

The bar exams were truly life-changing. I now classify my life as before and after the bar. Surviving the bar torture is one of the most important accomplishments that I have. And it's not because of the fact that I am now a lawyer, it's more because of the fact that through sheer determination and unbending faith, I survived the mental, physical and emotional torture of the bar despite my ambivalent feelings towards the law profession.

I now think of these things as I consider my future and as I wait for the results to be released (I am fervently praying for my friends). It's been a year, a year that saw me emerging victorious from the bar and immediately plunging to the deepest depression that I had ever felt and experienced and surfacing just barely to hang on to my dear life. While I still have so many doubts and uncertainties, I still have faith and I still believe.

Happy Birthday!

2009-03-08T16:07:37Z

Happy birthday, pinkrabbit17!

Dreaming of You

2009-02-11T15:53:51Z

It has been a while since you made your presence known in my dreams, both daytime and nighttime.

For several years, my world revolved around you and I often wondered then on how my life was before I met you and on how my life would become without you.

You always had the perfect timing. You were always there at the right time and at the right moment.

You came into my life when I needed the fantasy. My reality then was too sterile and undead, hence it was the perfect time to be trapped in a fantasy. That fantasy world helped me survive the monotony of my real life. It enabled me to discover and experience so many precious things.

And then, just when I thought that serendipity was merely a word, you turned around and saw me at the perfect moment. You arrived at the exact moment when I was coincidentally at the same place.

But the passage of time is indeed very fickle. As in all things, the perfect time for that fantasy world to burst came. While I was largely unprepared, I recognized the signs. Signs of the end of another era.

And just like it had always been, you left my life at the right moment when I needed reality.

In the blink of an eye, it was over. I felt refreshed. I never knew that being in that kind of world trapped me. Nevertheless, I would never regret being trapped in that world with you. You brought the perfect combination of dreams and reality.

And now, I dreamed of you again. While in the past, such dreams would often bring a certain kind of wistfulness and giddiness, now, I just feel contented. Contented with my memories of you. Contented with my occasional glances.

I know that I will always owe my sanity to you for those 4 hazy years. But after emerging from the haze of my fantasy world, I discovered that my new world has now brightened a bit. I'm sure you'll be more than happy to know that while I enjoyed the haziness of the fantasy, I am now welcoming my bright and crisp future. A future that no longer revolves around you but a future that will always be influenced by my past with you.

It was nice seeing you again in my dreams, ZaiZai.

JieLun's Day

2009-01-18T04:41:09Z

Thank you for the music. For the greatness. For the diaoness.

Happy, happy birthday, dear Jay! :)

RPattz - My Spunk Ransom

2008-12-21T09:12:01Z

Ok, I think I'm starting to fall for Robert Pattinson. I knew it would only be a matter of time. Just the fact that I deliberated long and hard before reading Twilight, I also deliberated long and hard before allowing myself to be charmed completely by Rob because I knew that it would be so easy for me to be sucked into this fandom. I mean, I already had my F4 phase, which lasted for several years. And I'm now in my Jay phase, where I'd like to think I am exhibiting more restraint befitting my "maturity" in fandoms.

Moreover, I wasn't sure if my fangirl heart was big enough to accommodate another fandom. But since resistance has always been futile in my case, I allowed myself to be sucked into Twilight. Devouring the books, fanfics, news articles, interviews, outtakes, etc. But still I was adamant and I resisted in being immersed with the actors from Twilight.

But on hindsight, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got dazzled by the man behind Edward Cullen. Rob Pattinson as Cedric Diggory didn't really caught my eye in HP. But now... After watching countless interviews (which made me go to work sleep-deprived!) and reading numerous articles, I can now officially say that I am a Rob Pattinson fan.

I love how he totally understood his character.

How he immersed himself in understanding Edward's character because he loves the material.

How he seems so genuinely thankful for the fans' support.

His self-deprecating humor.

His wit.

How he's so uncomfortable with praises.

How he freaking would never stop signing autographs in Much Music because he knew they camped out days before the show.

How humble he is.

How sarcastic he is.

And most of all, I love his huge crush on Kristen Stewart.

Accck, my OTP!

I mean, there's only so much adoration that you can take.

Watching his interviews is always a pleasure as he often gives unexpected answers. I kinda remember ZaiZai in the way he answers interviews. In Twilight, Edward often says that he could never expect what Bella is thinking. Same thing with Rob, he has this skewed (but at the same time, endearing and worthy) outlook on his characteristics and his profession.

Rob is also not the classically handsome type of guy. He doesn't shave; he always looks as if he just rolled out of his bed and went straight to his promotional events; he makes fun of his hygiene. But, for me, that's one of his charming qualities. The quirkiness and the refusal to be sucked into the plastic nature of the entertainment business.

And may I just say, he's oozing with so much sex appeal.

His Diaoness

2008-12-09T16:03:25Z

A year ago, I witnessed his diaoness live for the first time.

December 8-9, 2007.
Hong Kong Coliseum.

More than just a fantasy and still incomparable.

Dazzled by Edward Cullen

2008-11-08T05:27:40Z

I’ve been changed (by Edward Cullen)…

to a Twilight fanatic!!!

(with spoilers for the next 3 books)

I’ve been meaning to read the Twilight saga for some time now but I only got the time to start reading it after the last book was released. I’ve always been drawn to vampire stories from Anne Rice’s books to Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel and now I am completely head over heels in love with Edward Cullen. Aaaacccckkkk! (I even managed to convert so many people to the Twilight fandom, haha! From Zzis Annie who constantly sends me YM messages about Twilight, to my officemate who slept less than 3 hours per day just to finish the 4 books, etc., etc.)

I just love the intensity of Edward and Bella’s relationship. And this is very evident in the first book, Twilight, which remains as my most favorite in the entire saga.

I didn’t like the second book, New Moon, that much the first time I read it as as I was racing through the pages to find out when Edward would come back. I actually read Stephenie Meyer’s (the author) advice that fans should read this book twice as everyone is so anxious about Edward’s absence that they just skim through the middle part of the book. That is so true for me. When Edward left (supposedly to protect Bella), I really felt the darkness surrounding Bella. The blank chapters covering the months depressed me so much!

I guess it was also the reason why I never really got attached to the secondary character, Jacob, the quintessential bestfriend/admirer. Truth be told, I hated him for spending time with Bella while Edward was suffering somewhere in South America. I couldn’t help it. Stephanie Meyer built up Edward so much in the first book, that there’s no way anyone could not fall in love with him, too!

But the second time I read New Moon, I began to appreciate its beauty. I even began to appreciate the necessity of Jacob's character (although I still dislike him! :P). Bella and Edward's reunion in Italy was so beautiful and the lines spewed by Edward (almost) made up for his absence.

The third book, Eclipse, redeemed the second book for me because of Edward. I still hated Jacob and Bella was coming to a close second. I just couldn't believe how selfish she was in subjecting Edward to so much pain (I'm sorry, I really am mostly just an Edward fan!). But I still liked the premise of the book as she finally realized that she could have an alternative and normal (as normal as Bella can get) life aside from Edward and despite this, she still knew that there wouldn't really be any choice.

The final book, Breaking Dawn, got mixed reviews after its release. I admit I was thrown off by the centrepiece of the book, Renesmee. I also didn’t like the fact that everything just fell into their right places: her transformation, no bloodlust, having Charlie & Jacob in her life, a baby, etc.

I think it would have been so much better if she lost even just a small significant aspect of her human life. Yes, she lost her heartbeat and all but otherwise, her worries that she would lose all the other human trappings proved to be inexistent. Hence, the bittersweet feeling that was so effectively built up in the first three books lost its steam in the last book.

But despite my misgivings, I still loved the resolution of their story. I still think that it was a fitting end to the saga. While the loose ends were tied in a hurry, I could gloss over it since Edward and Bella had come full circle with both of them finally getting their wish of being together forever.

The ending of the book was just perfect. Their small piece of forever. Bella allowing Edward to see her thoughts. Both of them have always underestimated the feelings of one another. In the end, Edward finally saw how powerful Bella’s love was for him.

And I guess that sums up everything I feel for Twilight. Behind the whole saga, at the end of it is love. A very powerful love.

Now, I cannot wait for the movie. (And yes, as much as I ship Edward/Bella, I ship Rob/Kristen, too!) ♥♥♥

Finding JieLun

2008-10-23T15:13:54Z

My story of literally finding JieLun in Hong Kong.

HK... where fangirl dreams come true.

Oct. 15 (Wednesday) – YM message from my sister pinkrabbit17 regarding this mysterious photo that she saw at Jay2U:

As our official translator jerrydezstalker was still on her way to Wuhan from Manila, I was mystified about the date and time: October 19, 4pm. I asked my sister to find someone who could translate the poster for us.

I left for a short meeting. After I came back to my room, my secretary told me that my sister called. I picked up my phone and saw missed calls. I knew right there and then that our awaited event in HK is happening in 4 days!!! And yet I was still so swamped with work that I had no idea how to manage everything, i.e., ask HK fans how to get the elusive pass (the poster indicated that the pass was very limited), ask permission from our parents, buy the plane tickets, reserve our accommodations, finish my tasks at work, and most importantly, prepare myself for that face-to-face encounter with the heavenly prince himself, Jay Chou! But fangirls had always been very resourceful. We even managed to prepare gifts for Jay!

Oct. 16 (Thursday) – We bought our plane tickets. We reserved our accommodations. We collected the orders of our other friends who also want to buy Jay’s album. The only thing lacking was the pass! I corresponded with the HK moderators of Jay’s fanclub. They were very helpful but we couldn’t completely understand the mechanics.

One of the promotional posters mentioned that those who could accumulate HKD2,000 worth of receipts from the mall would have the pass! HKD2,000!!! I was seriously considering buying all of our Xmas gifts at that mall to be able to get that pass. We then formulated our contingency plan. My sister will take the first flight to HK on Friday morning then go immediately to KCP mall to collect receipts from other shoppers! We even printed what she would say to the shoppers! Lol.

Oct. 17 (Friday) – I was so nervous for my sister as when it comes to fangirl events, it had always been me who formulate strategies. But I was confident that she can make it there alone as I would like to think that I had already imparted to her the lessons that a fangirl should know :P

As Murphy’s Law would say, if there’s something that could go wrong, it would go wrong. And many things had indeed gone wrong.

1. Confusion on the passes;
2. Empty batteries;
3. Unfinished tasks at work;
4. Almost left behind by the plane.

But I managed to arrive in HK at 8:30pm and finally met my sister, who had successfully scoured the confusing HK roads with her loot goods, the Jay CDs with the elusive passes!

We walked around HK, savoring the feeling of being there again.

Still wearing my office clothes as I didn't have the time to change anymore!

Oct. 18 (Saturday) – Spent the whole day in different malls while staying in contact with the Jay2U moderators.

I love this picture that we took in Mongkok:

So many people staying and watching Jay’s MV (which was coincidentally shot in HK). I felt so proud of Jay that his music reaches so many people.

at KCP Mall

Oct. 19 (Sunday) – THE EVENT

We came early. Waited from 9am to 4pm with practically no food and drinks. Fangirling is actually an effective way to lose weight as I hardly eat anything during events.

wearing our Deerhui sneakers from Shine!

We had our vantage point at the second floor. However, since I really wanted Jay to see our Feilubin banner, I agreed to go down to the first floor where I would not be able to see him clearly during the event due to the people standing but where he could definitely see our banner. My sister stayed at the second floor with another Filipino Jay fan, Julie (who is also a ZaiZai fan and a Chou-Hou fan like me :P)

When the event started, I knew I made the right decision to come down to the first floor as our banner attracted the attention of the press and the host. See the following clip for the evidence:

Can you see me? Hehe.

When Jay came out, it was an extraordinary experience. Seeing him standing so close… his diaoness… his talents emanating from him.

He sang Dao Xiang (the theme song for my quarter life crisis) and accepted interviews. Finally, it was the autograph session. Would you believe that I had never attended an autograph session ever? Jay fulfilled this dream for me.

Prior to the event, I confided to my sister about my reservations and worries as I didn’t know how I could manage to come close to Jay like that. What if all my bravado would disappear once I stare into his small chinky eyes? I knew I couldn’t afford it as I had lots of things to accomplish, first and foremost is the scrapbook that I have to give to him. I felt that I was carrying all the wishes from the Philippine fans at my back! Shine even told me the translation for “Please read this”, i.e., “qing ni yi ding yao du zhe ge”, and I wrote it down on my palm in case I get flustered:

I first memorized the wrong pinyins!

As I was lining up to come up to the stage, I had an epiphany. I realized that he’s just human. I guess it was my own defense mechanism to not break down. I had to tell myself that despite his heavenly prince status in the Chinese entertainment industry and despite his immense talents, he’s just human. So I calmly went up the stage. However, I decided that I would just stick to what I knew best and tell him “Qing ni lai Philippines” as my concentration was ebbing away at that moment.

I continued staring at him, the way he signed the passes, the way he sometimes nodded, the way he would sometimes look up. He was surrounded by staff and security.

When I was near the table, I told him the famous lines “Qing ni lai Philippines”. He looked up and with his small chinky eyes staring at me, he nodded. I got the scrapbook and handed it to him while again saying Qing Ni Lai Philippines. He took the scrapbook and again nodded. I was planning to shake his left hand as he was busy signing but I got confused and I instead touched his right hand while he was signing. He shook my hand and smiled a bit. I couldn’t even remember how many times I told him “Qing ni lai Philippines!” or if he said anything in response. I was too dumbfounded.

As I went down the stage, I felt numb. Czarina (another Jay fan from the Philippines) and I did not even talk while we walked to nowhere. I then realized I have to look for my sister.

It took me some time before I realized that it was a success. It was only a few moments but I was happy, terribly happy. Seeing Jay, letting him know that his Philippine fans are very proud of him.

Xing Fu

Oct. 20 (Monday) – This should be a day reserved for catching up with my backlog at work, touring, shopping and eating. But of course, Jay had to mess everything up, hehe. Murphy’s Law again.

Two words: Press Conference.

While my sister and friends were at HK Island, I received a frantic YM from Shine telling me that the presscon would be held at the Miramar Hotel, which was only a block away from where we were staying.

I immediately abandoned my pending work and ran to the hotel with my laptop in tow. There was no one in sight. But I had tasks to do. I began the ocular inspection of the hotel. I was later joined by Terry, Julie and Czarina. From the function rooms to the basement parking to the shopping center to the walkway to the driveway, we had memorized the important layouts and the intricacies of the elevators of the hotel. Lol.

JieLun zai na li?

However, I still felt so helpless as I had no idea where the presscon would be held and what time. I then saw the electric signboard at the lobby: Jay Chou, Ballroom 1-3, 18th Floor.

We finally knew the specific location. The only thing lacking was the time. We couldn’t possibly wait in the hotel lobby the whole day as I had to finish some tasks and we didn't want to attract the attention of the staff. So I called the hotel and pretended that I was the media representative from Malaysian News Daily! I concocted an elaborate scheme. My flight got delayed; I lost my luggage including my media kit for the event; I was still filing my lost luggage report, hence I would like to confirm the time of the event as I didn’t know if I could still make it.

The hotel staff told me two times: 5:15 and 7pm. But I couldn’t understand which is which. So to be sure, we went back to the hotel at 4pm. Stalked a bit. Went inside the hotel at 5pm. At exactly 5:15pm, one of the side doors opened and several people came out. My heart jumped and I knew that it would be Jay. I was right. We were all frozen with shock. They waited for the elevator. I just looked at him, at this star who influence millions.

The presscon was another story. I can’t describe it in words but it was really funny. Hiding behind the cameraman, showing my IBP card, telling them that I’m a correspondent from ABS-CBN News Interactive. Although we didn’t really fool anyone, I felt as if we were in a movie with the surrealness of everything.

We left the hotel knowing that this was another highlight of our trip. The chase was so exhilarating. 4 heads thinking of different strategies. It was an amazing experience.

Feilubin delegation

Oct. 21 (Tuesday) – Back to reality

We left HK feeling fulfilled and inspired.

Fulfilled by our experiences of seeing him… meeting him… chasing him.

Inspired by him.

Is this the cure for my quarter-life-crisis? I guess in a way, it is. Here’s a guy who lives his dreams and shares them to his fans.

As Jay had written, “Live your life with colors, but first you have to paint it as you like it.”

Thank you, JieLun. ^__^

Weird

2008-10-06T00:31:47Z

It feels weird not being there.

If this happened two years ago, I would probably be cutting classes, arranging trips, tickets and flower baskets (?!) and freezing my ass while waiting outside the concert venue.

Scary Times

2008-09-18T15:56:34Z

These are scary times. The collapse of Lehman Brothers. The emergency sales of Bear Stearns and Merrill Lynch. The struggles of AIG and Washington Mutual. The subprime mortgage crisis. While Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs are the few ones left standing, they are also exposed to the crisis. The big question then is how substantial their exposure is.

My dream companies back in college are now facing tough times. Hence, despite the fact that I am only minimally connected with these investment giants, I feel their pain. I'm no expert in finance as my financial background had been unfortunately eroded by my law studies. I'm just a wannabe (but hopefully future) finance person. I terribly enjoyed my finance classes back in college and I'm holding on to the hope that I would eventually find my way back to that path.

All these comparisons with the Great Depression scare me. I would like to believe that the financial market had placed sufficient security measures to prevent its repeat. But still, these are complex times involving complex transactions.

I think it all leads down to wise investment decisions. Due to the complexity of these investment strategies and securities, fundamental finance rules are often neglected and forgotten.

High returns, high risks. In the pursuit of high returns, banks and financial institutions hedge the risks. In the end, no one is willing to shoulder the high risks, forgetting that in interlocking transactions, no one can escape such risks.

For instance, these mortgage-backed securities often produce high returns as the collaterization and pooling of the assets increase their tradeability. Consequently, they should also be considered high risks. However, the financial institutions generally rely on the traditional concept that real estate is a low risk venture. More importantly, when mortgages and other assets are securitized, the risks are pooled and then passed on to another entity. As the risks are passed, there is less incentive for the originator to determine the creditworthiness of the borrower. The mortgages and the other assets are then transformed into securities (or derivatives) and the risks of the underlying assets are then forgotten.

We can actually no longer rely on financial statements and other traditional records since valuations of these assets and securities are often the product of much hocus pocus as the risks are no longer properly accounted for. They're not illegal per se as loopholes do exist not only in the legal structure, but more so in the financial structure.

In the event of a collapse (like now), other inter-related transactions are then affected. You hear about the credit default swaps problem, most specifically in the case of AIG. And then it just gets harder and harder to isolate the safe securities and investments from the risky ones as everything now revolves around perception.

The only thing that we could hope is that the market would correct itself soon enough. That is the beauty of a free market. All else equal, the optimum and efficient level would be reached. Hence, unnecessary regulation and bailouts by the government should be reduced, if not eliminated. Financial institutions must account for the risks of their investment strategies, instead of allowing them to employ complex transactions to spin off the risk and then run back to the government in case of disastrous investment decisions (that threaten the entire financial market!). Lastly, my finance and economic professors often reminded us that no matter how complex the transaction is, it would never hurt to go back to the basics.

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Hmmm, I missed this kind of discussion. I've been so focused on legal discussions that this entry feels like a breath of fresh air. :)

Beijing Huan Ying Ni!

2008-08-11T11:20:39Z

The opening ceremony was spectacular. I'm still in awe. (Kudos to Zhang Yi Mou!)

I love this part where they showed the voyages of Zheng He, the maritime head of Emperor Zhu Di of the Ming Dynasty (credited for building the Forbidden City and Temple of Heaven), as I am currently reading "1421: The Year China Discovered America". It's a very interesting read and it shows the awesome power and ingenuity of China's civilization even back then.

My one and only complaint in the show is the Olympics theme song... I could totally imagine Jay rocking that globe while singing Qian Shan Wan Shui!

Despite the many faults of the Chinese government, as constantly broadcasted by the Western media, I have always rooted for China and her people. They truly deserve the Olympics.

One World, One Dream